Our Testimony from the "Getting Away To Get It Together" weekend...
September 5-7, 2008

Let me start by saying that if you get the impression that John and I have it all together and our life is bliss by reading our website and story about how the dream of Blessed Reminder came to be, please think again.  The old adage that we should not judge a book by its cover definitely applies in this situation.  Don't get me wrong, John and I do love each other intently and we take our marriage sacrament very seriously.  We are committed to working hard in our own relationship and we have a genuine passion and desire to help other married couples in
any way we can. 

What John and I also have is a very real relationship full of the typical and some not so typical ups and downs that define the foundation of marriage.  Over the past fifteen years we have been through many a battle. So far God has ensured us victory because of our reliance on Him to help us through the struggles.  In between the valleys of war we have also been blessed with long stretches of mountaintop experiences with one another...times when everything in our life seemed to be in perfect sync and we felt like we could see for miles into our future.  And it is precisely then, when we recognize that God has awarded us one of these seasons of blessing, that the carpet seems to get pulled right out from under our feet.

We've talked about why this happens and have come up with a few conclusions. Maybe it is because after time we begin to take for granted the stillness and peace that comes as a result of sailing on smooth waters -- forgetting to give our proper thanks to the Lord for the absence of hardship.  Maybe it is because we lose track of the fact that there are two people within the relationship that are changing and growing individually in response to the circumstances and situations surrounding their lives...and that this individual change automatically affects the whole.   And that communicating about this occurrence is incredibly necessary.

Which brings me to the heart of this testimony.  Communication. 

Just last week, God pulled the carpet out from under our feet in a fast and furious manner.  I think my feet may still have rug burn on them.  In fact, the fall from the "mountaintop" was so rapid and unexpected that for two days I walked around in a haze unable to even recognize who God was and was devastated that He could be so cruel.  I forgot how to pray and suddenly found myself questioning everything about my life.  Nothing around me had clarity and I felt a numbness in my relationship with John that was suffocating.

"God, helloooooooo? Was it not You that provided the opportunity for this marriage ministry at the Blessed Reminder?  Exactly how are we supposed to help others when our own marriage is suddenly in shambles?"

I continued to mock Him, "How about this new slogan Lord, 'Come to the Blessed Reminder to renew and refresh your marriage. Our marriage is a mess, but we guarantee you'll be happier!'"

I think He laughed out loud because I heard thunder and then a sudden urge to author a book entitled, "The Idiot's Guide to Hypocrisy."  Isn't He funny?

Not really. He is painstakingly honest. When He wants to get a message across in our life, John and I have come to understand that He wastes no time in being direct and purposeful. And direct He was.  After patiently watching me wallow around and complain for three days, God picked up the box of "Getting Away To Get It Together" workbooks I had in my office and dropped them on my head.  I gathered that what He was trying to say in a loving way was, "GO ON THE WEEKEND, stupid."  Not really. He would never call us stupid.

So we went.  We went to the Blessed Reminder Retreat House as guests...not owners.  We experienced the weekend as any other couple would and allowed God to speak to us the lessons we needed to learn.  Over two days he clearly showed us that we were living personal agenda's in our marriage and that important communication about our future was being ignored. He revealed countless areas where our communication had broken down and reminded us that the success of our relationship depended fully on open, honest, and frequent sharing.  He humbled us by defining the ways we were failing and let us know that in order for us to really help others, we needed to take the time to help ourselves. The weekend allowed just that as we were able to focus only on each other...away from the responsibilities of work, children, and outside obligations.  And as a result we came away from our weekend with a brand new perspective for our future. One filled with the wisdom and constant reminder that God is in control and that He needs to be at the center of every moment of our lives.  That we must take time for each other away to nurture the blessed sacrament we have been given.

It is our hope that you will also take the opportunity as couples to get away and get it together.  Bill and Carolyn Wellons' workbook is well-written, compassionate and full of wonderful projects to work on together and independently during the weekend.  At the very least, you will walk away enriched because of taking the time to put your marriage first.

God Bless and remember to serve one another in love...