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1912-2003
It is our honor and privilege
to share with you the inspiration behind our dream to create the Blessed
Reminder Retreat House - a place for all to rest, but in a special way a
place for married couples to rekindle the love that brought them together in
the first place.
We have been married for almost
16
years and are blessed with three amazing children ages 15, 13 and 11.
When we said "I do" back in 1993, we were certain that our love for
each other was different than any other couple. We bragged about how
our union would be immune to all the trials and tribulations of
other married couples that seemed so commonplace. We knew we were
meant to be together and believed wholeheartedly that all the years to come
would be smooth sailing.
It must have been at that exact
point in time that God had a good chuckle to himself. He undoubtedly
looked down upon us and smiled as He mused over our naive innocence.
The good news is He was ready to catch us when we humbly fell from the
clouds into reality...
Said reality set in rather quickly. At 23 and 24 years old, we were still in
"all about me" mode. Fresh out of college and both working at a
Big 6 Public Accounting Firm, we were making great money and on top of the world. Our
self-absorbed mode was short lived, however, as it didn't
 bode well when
children rapidly invaded our home. Three and a half years into our bliss we
had three kids toddling around the house and were up to our ears in diapers,
wipes and baby formula. Sleepless nights turned into hazy days and it was
hard to discern what it actually meant to be husband and wife.
Corporate America certainly didn't fit into the picture - leaving Dad to
carry the work load and Mom to carry the laundry.
It was at our five year mark that the term "disillusioned" loomed within our
hearts. We no longer felt the confidence in our relationship that
overwhelmed us only five years earlier - we had become married singles. Our
first impulse was to call upon the wonderful Priest who married us - Fr.
James Patton. We trusted his wisdom and felt comfort in knowing he would be
willing to give us counsel and guidance. Fr. Patton was quick to offer
encouragement to work through our fears and focus on our love for each other
that was buried beneath the common challenges of parenthood and the demands
of running a household. He also suggested that we attend a Marriage
Encounter Weekend, which is a weekend retreat aimed at renewed communication
between husband and wife.
This was the weekend that changed our lives dramatically. We went into
the weekend confused and unsure of where our lives were headed, only to
leave feeling more alive and in love than
 we did back on our wedding day.
Through exhausting communication in which we poured out our hearts to one
another over the course of three days, we were awarded the opportunity to
focus solely on each other, without the kids, and reconnect in a way that
never really took place from day one.
Our Marriage Encounter took place in February of 1998. We cannot sit here and
confess that all has been smooth sailing for the past ten years, but we will
tell you that the tools we came away with on that weekend have carried us
through many more hardships, challenges, and overwhelming periods of
disillusionment within our married life. Through Marriage Encounter we
were blessed to have been introduced to many other married couples who also
went on one of the weekends. Eight of us as couples from around
the area formed a "Circle Group" back in 1999 and we have been meeting once
a month for the past nine years. We get together at each other's homes
and openly and honestly share our stories of married life, inspiring and
challenging each other to continue growing together and learn from our
experiences as husbands and wives, mothers and fathers.
While the Blessed Reminder
Retreat House does not offer a “planned retreat experience” just yet, it is
something the we are working towards in the future.
For
now we are providing self-led programs for couples and families to take part
in on their own. It is our hope that those of you who are married will also be inspired to strive for a healthy and vibrant marriage
relationship all the days of your lives...and perhaps use your time away at
our home to communicate openly and honestly with each other and come away
refreshed and renewed in your love.
Which brings us to the last part of our story - the name Blessed Reminder.
Up above you see a beautiful picture of John's dear Grandmother -
Margaret "Rose" Reminder. Grandma Reminder was a beacon of hope to her
entire family. In 1954, her husband died at 41, leaving her a widow raising
eight children from the ages of 3 - 18. Grandpa and Grandma shared a
wonderful love for each other - hence the eight kids!- and the fact
that Grandma never remarried until the day she passed on February 22, 2003.
In their short married life they instilled a sense of unity and incredible
capacity to love into their children that has carried each of them through
the years and has trickled down to the many grandchildren and great
grandchildren (over 50 and counting!). The name Blessed Reminder not only
is a tribute to Grandma, but it also means "Holy Spirit." It is
through the power of the Holy Spirit that we hope your weekend together as a
married couple will be a "blessed reminder" of the day you shared your vows
and dedicated your love to one another.
Grandma's maiden name was Rose. You will notice a rose in the Blessed
Reminder logo. This was an actual rose which bloomed on our property
on October 27, 2007 - a day when we specifically asked God, with the help of
St. Therese of Lisieux, to let us know whether to share this home with
others as a place to retreat and find rest. We have carried the dream
of having a place for married couples to retreat and reconnect within our
hearts for the past ten years and we were prayerfully discerning whether
this was God's will for us in His timing for our life.
If you are not familiar with St. Therese of Lisieux, you may want to read
about her when you come to our home. You will find many books about
her life story on our bookshelves. St. Therese is known to reveal a rose or
the scent of a rose when one calls upon her to ask God for confirmation to a
specific prayer. Whether St. Therese or Grandma Reminder delivered a
fresh bloom on that warm day in late October or it just randomly appeared,
we will never know. What we do know is that Grandma Reminder will
always be smiling down from Heaven upon all of you who venture to the
Blessed Reminder Retreat House and that God's blessings will be upon each
and every one of you.
Peace and Blessings -
John & Shelby Spear
Click Here for Video Story of how the Blessed Reminder Came to Be...
Read about St. Therese of
Lisieux at
www.littleflower.org
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